Sunday, November 23, 2014

HIV from her husband

She was an intelligent and emotional individual. Last night, she called me on the phone and said, "I have now learnt to live with HIV". She has declared herself HIV positive and I cried all night.

I remember she told me last year. "Kam, I like an ideal husband, the one who makes a good husband, quiet and loyal".

She was a very beautiful woman. Therefore, the person she should marry is either supposed to be a leading personality that can absolutely take command in her life.

I told her, "I want you to become happy and successful and if there is anything that I could do, I would be happy. Anyway, your trust considering me capable enough of giving suggestions in your personal decisions, this truly means a lot to me". And then we became very good friends.

Last year, I had celebrated her birthday. I told her, "I understand family pressure, especially regarding the wedding issue and your family have their rights to dictate upon you. However, you decide for your life. Therefore, it is your decision whom you will marry."

I further added, "I suggest that you find someone who is willing to accept the way you are."

I know finding love marriage is hard for female in many parts of the world. Once again I know it shouldn't be, but we grew up with this kind of society.

She told me that she wants to see me. I mean after all I know I was her good friend. She was tested positive for HIV in 2006. She did not receive any medical help. I really wanted to help her. She got the HIV from her husband. Her husband did not informed her about the HIV infections prior to their marriage.

I went out the house. I put on my shoes and hurriedly reached the street. I even didn't inform my mother about my departure. Today, I went out hurriedly when my mother was busy to prepare tea and breakfast in the kitchen.

I have to meet her. She is a lady who was born in my city.  She really seems like the moon. Her big almond eyes stroked his heart like an arrow. A real beautiful lady whom there is no need of money to get. Thinking of her, I was lured to her on the way. The betel nut inside her small mouth and the red flower on her plait defeated every beauty in front of her. I am proud of her. While enjoying friendship with her, I do not wish even to imagine my other friends. Scented oil on her hair and expensive scent on her dress always make her look like a bride .

When I was pushing myself through a busy street, an office co-worker, disturbed me. I escaped.

I told myself my life would be incomplete in the absence of her friendship. I was eager to meet her. I have forgotten my family at this time. I wished to pass the whole day with her. I kept my way to her. I had drawn my salary the day before. I had some money to buy oil. I decided to buy scent for her. I would like to buy her a lot of things at a time but my income does not allow me to do so.

If I had a lot of money , I would take out her from the rented house and build a beautiful house of her own. I would buy a small motor bike for her pleasure. I would buy all the up to date and fashionable clothes for her. My heart filled with the love and tears for her. I was fully sunk into the depth of her life. I went to market and bought a bottle of scent for her. I wanted to keep her happy. The people on the way seemed to disturb me. The way to her house was quite long today. I was eager to meet her.

When I neared to the room of her, I fixed my hair style and dress unconsciously. After a while, the door was opened. It was her husband standing at the door. Her husband welcomed me. My eyes were searching for my friend . "Where is my friend?" I asked.

He said, "She has disappeared since last night. Either she died or returned back to her mom's house. I informed the police. I searched for her everywhere but she is nowhere," he said.

I couldn't decide what to do. I remained standing with scent bottle, looking at her selfish husband.

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Monday, November 17, 2014

Writer, Freedom And Literature


By Kamala Budhathoki. Sarup

The world's picture has changed after first and second world war. After 9/11 incident the world witnessed yet another holocaust of terror. This has a definite impact in man's mind. Time has not been moving with certain direction. The aimless movement of time has made man's future more uncertain. The question of peace, freedom and security is a big question mark before us. With Nietzsche's diclaration of the death of god, the world is left alone without any saviour. In such a crucial time of mental crisis I have searched God within human and declared a new god.

Literature is an endeavour of searching the space of sentiment and feeling. The feeling and sentiment connects one person with another. Science and technology can never and in no age can ignore the feeling and sensibility of the creator. The  science and technology can never challenge this truth of a creation. In this age of science too, Milton is known as England, Homer is known as Greece, Vergil is known as Rome, Frost is known as America, Bhanubhakta is known as Nepal, Ravindra Nath Tagor is known in India. A writer writes simply because he can create emotion, sentiment and feeling in his creation. Poet Gopal Parajuli said "In my book of 'Naya Ishwarko Ghoshana' the god is personified to man. My assumption is that the man with the power of divinity can lead the world and can play the role as god, and at the same time can protect the universe with His greatness and strength. I have projected this new thing in my book. This very fact perhaps might have provided this opportunity". 

I reject theoretical concept in literature. As an experimental writer I want to explore new things in my literary work. I like to present new things as time dictates and demands. To achieve my goal I have developed my philosophy in writing through which I go with my writer. To observe life and the world through literature and to explore peace, happiness and pleasure for mankind and to explore oneself from there is my philosophy. The main aim of my life is to seek peace, pleasure and happiness for mankind.


Many words have lost their meanings and the meaning of truth has been changed. This has compelled human to seek meaning in each step of their lives. For us the only quest is about the truth. Even in writings that I have gone through, I found the same thing. Hence, it is due to the truth I am maintaining my linkage with western writing.

"After the Nietzsche's declaration of the death of god, the world is left alone without a humane leader. The world after the declaration, is going ahead randomly, almost lawlessly and in disorderly way.To set the world in order, and to restore peace harmony and happiness a dynamic leader's arrival is necessary in the world. At such a time, I have challenged Nietzsche, and declared a new god within man. Thus, challenging Nietzsche, I am going a step forward establishing avant-garde trend in my writing". he said.

This is the age of globalization. As a pioneering magazine of language and literary and cultural studies, writers who have assimilated themselves in the flow of writing. Some of the writers have touched upon the arena of postmodernism and have brought postmodern trend in their writing crossing the boarder of modernism.  The feeling, emotion and sentiment of man never dies. These are the elements of spirit. Human lives in feeling, emotion and sentiment before and after death. The feeling of spirit after death makes a human positive towards life.


The world goes on creating newer things. Literature is a creation, not theory. The law of nature is to create new things. To neglect creation is to go against nature. In literature a writer goes with an experiment in thought, subject, language, style and so on. Every creator should create new things in a way understandable to the readers whose nature of perceiving things and level of cognition changes in accordance with several social facets. Every creativechange brings happiness to man. My writer is committed to renovate old values and construct new values in accordance with the changing time. In our view we have to satisfied with our work to come up with new conception and vision. In every creation, we need to prefer to experiment in terms of using new thought, subject, language, style and other associated aspects.

I am positive towards life, so towards spirit. Some people may argue that literary creation as an outcome of continual endeavour. Creation is essentially an outcome of inherent ingenuity. The living creation cannot be created by an endeavour. Inherent ingenuity is the must. A writer is born not made. The opinions and ideas of others should be regarded.

Copyright mediaforfreedom.com 

Thursday, November 6, 2014

True Story of a Courageous Couple

True Story of a Courageous Couple
Kamala Budhathoki Sarup

Published in UPI Asia,Blog.
"Did you hear? your friends are married, the last night," informed my friend. When I heard this news, I felt happy.
I remembered how he told me last month, "I can be proud only if I get a chance to marry your friend." He spoke as he lit a cigarette, sitting on the balcony that evening. "You're in a big city. Will she save her youth for you there in her town, while you get old,?" I asked satirically.

Ignoring my words, he turned south and looked out of the corner of his eyes, saying at length, "She is a woman like a flower. 'A son of a brave man either should do or die,' She would say. I came to here swearing my love for her. Sometimes I become sad, because the image of her comes to my mind day and night."

He finished his pack of cigarettes and creased his forehead. He was the most candid person in our City, so it could also be said that he had no enemies.

Despite being exhausted, he would wake up early every morning before the cock crowed, but that day he seemed to be in a cheerless mood. I teased him, "Why are you worried? Soon you will take your leave of twenty-five days, go to the town and get married there. The more you worry, the thinner you become, so you should spend your days cheerfully, to keep from looking old." He was like a brother to me. "One needs to have patience in love," said our friend Chand, abstractedly, while sitting beside us sipping tea. He said, "I am ready to wait even my whole life for her. If anyone even says the name 'her,' I blank out."

After speaking these words, he left us and went to his room. We guessed he hadn't enjoyed our joking manner, which had made his heart ache bitterly. Last year, Her mother had told me, "If  your friend gets
married to someone of her own choice, my husband has sworn by the water that he would not look at her face again." I had responded, "Whoever my friend desires to get married with, we should let her."  Her mother disagreed with my view.  

At the time of my departure from totown, my friend had said to me, "If he changes his mind, I will hang myself." I had told her, "One needs to have faith in love. Otherwise the meaning of love becomes
like pouring water in the sand. He, who was standing beside me, had said to her. "Don't worry,  I'm with you".

Every evening, he would talk about quitting his job and going to town. "How will you bring her after quitting your job? You should not get frustrated in this way." I did not know how he would react to the advice I gave him.

"If my mother does not let me marry her, I will catch a bus coming straight back to city. I bought a return ticket too," He told me, showing me the ticket. I had scolded him, saying, "Hey brother, how dare you buy a ticket without letting me know first? You should have talked to me if you were planning on going! If you do as you
please, then I can do nothing." At that point, he had left my house without speaking a word to me.

Much later, an early morning phone call from her had woken me up from sleep, "It has been five days since your friend promised to return, but there is no sign of him. Do you think he married me?" I sensed that he had not informed my friend that he was coming late because of his wedding.

Weeks before, he had boasted to me, "I have bought four pair of  shirts, wrist rings, powder, a hair ribbon and scented hair oil for her. How do you think she will look with these cosmetics? The day after tomorrow, before the cock crows, I will leave for the town."

So, when my friend told me over the phone, "they both disappeared  last night, Kamala" I had nearly fainted and could hardly speak. He went on, "They both are married. Maybe they are already in your city, we don't know."  I feel lonely without them.
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